Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Testing....1, 2, 3
5,7,9,10......just thoughts after a very long and interesting day yesterday. I've not really mentioned this to many, but have started to. I've noticed for a while, that Colby is very much the copy cat, but isn't every kid....As I've observed him and his brothers....I began to question his development, was I getting through to him? Am I doing everything I can/should to help him grow and develop? Maybe it's not me? What should I do? Help?
So, we are doing some testing to see.....
And today, not sure why, after yesterday was insightful, I just am crying.....not really sure why (didn't I just say that)? I think it's many things, a humble cry to God, a resting and letting go of expectations, a loving that continues to grow for my child (all of them of course), a deeper need for God, hearing Him speak each day.....and then little things, like I'm tired, and I don't know how to do this w/Adam (process and all), that I want to 'fight' for my kid and help him do his best anyway it takes (that's the Momma- bear....), and above all that I will stand and trust in my God. I don't understand it all.....but I have a PEACE. God keeps saying, "A plan and a Purpose" and "a Purpose and a time", so I am listening and seeking.
I read something that I enjoyed last night, relaxing and processing over a cup of tea and some yummy banana bread (from my mom-in-law, Wendy) -alone w/God. This was on my tea bag, it said, "Fight for your opinions, but do not believe that they contain the whole truth, or the only truth", I am going to stand strong.....I want the best for my kid. I know God gave me Colby, and that I'm his Mom for a reason. I'm blessed to get to make the decisions that will shape (some) of who he's to become....and above all I pray He grows to have a heart for our Saviour.
I am learning to fear God and know His will for my life (and my family). To trust the things God has spoken and continues to speak.
The other day I was driving w/my mom....(maybe I blogged this already), but we were trying to find a way home, and I didn't think we could do it, my mom was going off route...through crazy roads, but through our silly adventure, I learned to not fear man or authorities (unhealthy version), to trust God, even when it looks like it won't work, that we'll get there. I even heard/felt God say, He had us do this on purpose - it was a message and prophetic all in one, and something I needed to 'hear' for more of the journey ahead.
Above all else, choose LIFE! As my great-grandfalther would say, "I am alive in the land of the living!" Amen - so be it.