Thursday, December 4, 2008

Three kids under two...

Three kids under the age of two...yes, when I hear myself say it, it sounds scary. But I believe God designed us to allow Him to work through us and that He made us capable of carring large loads (with His help).
My mind still thinks and ponders our first days and weeks togehter. I am still asking my husband, Adam and mom, tell me about our hospital stay. And when I talk with family and friends who helped or visited...they remind me of what the days were like. Sleep really helps the memory bank. I still am in awe of the miracle of two healthy sons and all the love and support we still receive.
So...3 under 2....yes, it's fun and crazy. I admit there are moments of questioning how I can do it, or listening to babies cry...let's just say there have been times when all 4 of us are crying and are so happy when Adam gets home, though I know he may not be as happy to arrive into such a spectacular display of loudness. Most days...good days consist of getting up, feeding my kids, packing my husband up for the day, sending him off, getting my own food and beginning to do the many loads of laundry per day, along with dishes and various chores. I've become way more ogananized and even have a list of chores each week to accomplish. I am so thankful for my mom who ecourages me to overcome my scatter brainness and learn to discipline my self as well as my two year old. I'm learning that in my heart to be the best mom I can, I've cattered to my son and now it's my turn to be in charge. He's still a very good and well behaved kid, I've just let him have his way about what foods he'll eat and allowing him to wine....whine way too much. So...we are on a new course to ecourage him and guide him to be all he can be. You may not realize...nor did I, that when you begin to teach and disipline your children, you also get to discipline your self. How do you teach a child to pick up toys and books, well, you sit with them and show them by example, then you let them do it, not perfect, but just as well as a two year old can *yes, he just turned two, but I had to use this title...becuase it's been my reality for the past 4 months.
So as I've grown to expect my little man to pick things up, take trash to the trash can, put dirty clothes away....I've grown and my son is better for it.
I still don't go anywhere alone...but soon as I can begin to put both babies on me, I may try?! I have a baby back pack and I may try, that's a maybe. The best idea for me is staying home. I've gone from a social butterfly to a stay at home mommy. (I just put on a veggie tail movie for my son,the first time I've done it to get something done...)
There are still things that we don't do or can't do. We have taken a family picture...but we still need to get a 'good' one. I'm going to 'try' to get a Christmas letter out..,that's a goal, but maybe not a reality. We don't go out to eat, we did once, but that was with the help of my mom. I don't go to the store with my kids, I leave them at home with Adam at night or at my parents when they are napping. I am so grateful for the time my mom-in-law watched all 3 so I could go out and buy a present for a cousin. Much of my to-do list that can't be done at home are on hold...I just do what I can each day around feeding, naps, playing and loving.
When I do go out...that's only to locations where my family or Adam's will be...I must plan around naps and feedings. If I'm not ready when the twins are up...then it's time to wait till the next feeding. Which means I better hury and get ready for our tea party at my Aunt's. That is if it works out. You see I have to be laid back and flexiable..which is good I'm mostly that way naturally.
I've had to say 'no' to things becuase it's just too much for me or for my kids, or husband.
The first 2-3 months were so intense, but now life is better. I have my hard days, but like my mom reminded me last night as I was frustrated and figuring out how to be a mom and what to do, that "this to shall pass". I have to let go of being the perfect mother, and just do my best. I think in some ways my kids will be more balanced for it, too. I am already seeing the personalities and needs of my kids are in the order God gave them to me in. Colby needed lots of one on one and bonding, but also needs now the balance of sharing and giving. My twins, are not very needy and content most days. Teething has begun...not so fun and so goes the holding and for me considering pain relievers for the gums...I'm so natural it's hard to think of doing, but crying sad babies who don't sleep need help and love. Right when I think it's getting 'easier' I then come upon new challenges. First it was just cooking, then cleaning up and laundry, and now it's helping my 2 year old not fuss or be a picky eater, and for my twins, Kyle and Ryan helping them grow (trying to only nurse..but some formula still) and help them through teething.
Well, I'd love to ponder and share my life more, but it's time to get ready to go to town, my every other week grocery trip and a tea party and dinner at my folks. Tomorrow I try to host a b-day party for a girl friend once all the kids are in bed....My first time to host anyone in months.
Now to pry my child from the tv (I was so proud when he didn't like tv) and get ready.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Life with twins

Getting creative...most moms I know implement this idea..but creativity with twins for me is sometimes born from desperation.
Legs....almost as good as arms....who knew?! I am able to hold one in the crook of my knee and bottle feed while nursing one. I finally figured out a way to nurse both that works for me. But am sure not going to try this in way to be discreet. I can hold and carry both babies at once, but they sure do weigh a lot!!! Last month they were 11 we'll see how much they are on their 3 month b-day of Oct. 25.....
Cuddles....some days it takes a while to take care of them....and so when they are not on the same can be hard. But at the same time I get more cuddle times in when they are off schedule from one another. I get to cuddle them, carry them around now that their heads aren't so wobbly (though I still have to support them), or put them in a wrap and get stuff done, till they fall asleep.
3 under 2 = fun, love, craziness, and less sleep. Colby (who'll be 2 in Nov.) is fun (when he's not whining) and a mellow kid. He wants to potty train, though we've only had 1 time of some where in between nursing, diapers (for 3), and trying to feed us all (including my self at least 6 times a day, yes, that's just for me the 6 times a day, yikes) I'm pretty busy. I'm learning to be more organized with my time, my house and my brain. I'm more care free and social, but need to be more focused to get more done. I'm good and taking a break and just playing with my kids or having a cuddle time.
Well...ta, ta for now..I hear a baby and a big boy who want up from naps and to be fed (I already ate my second lunch for the day).

Thursday, September 4, 2008

a smaller blog on the twins birth...

For those who don't have the time, nor stomach, for the longer is a bit more..on our twin boys.
Kyle and Ryan born on June 25, 2008
Kyle was 6.13 and 19 1/2 in
Ryan was 6.11 and 18 3/4 in.
Kyle was born first...(both emergency c-section in 20 mins flat) and Ryan followed loudly.
Kyle recovered quickly from the stress and lack of oxygen, hemoglobins, etc.....
They are fraternal twins, though I have days I can't tell who is who...we luckily have a mole on one (so we don't mix them up permanently).
They are doing great...and gaining weight.
Again...once I have time to figure out pics..I'll add...

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Kyle and Ryan's Birth Story

This is my first time blogging on an official blog site. Wow...I wanted to share with my family and friends all that life entails. So, I'll start first with a momentous time about 4 weeks ago...
It all started in anticipation of 'when' would these twin boys arrive? We all had bets and guesses that it was this week.....every week for about 3 weeks. I, along with my family and friends were very surprised as I neared my actual due date (twins usually arrive about 3 weeks early at a rate of 50%). I began after about 2 weeks away from my due date (who really knows when babies arrive but's all guess work with estimates truly) hiking, swimming and walking....almost everyday in an effort to encourage these babies to come. My mom joined me at times...and coached me to keep swimming....not just lay in the pool (both are great). I had given up my favorite time of summer....of swimming and rest and make sure these babies didn't come early...and now I was nearing their arrival and wanting them out. Each day was..."Is it today?"....marked by a new stretch mark and the effort to keep putting food in me (don't worry I am beyond the average statistic...I could still cram in a good meal and desert).
So the evening of the 24th...I made great enchiladas, rice, and bean dish and ate a lot! 3 enchiladas at least...besides ice cream to top it off...(see I was going strong on the food side of things...though it seemed to go mainly to my babes). I noticed a bit of pressure on my trips to the bathroom (*very frequent...should have invested in toilet paper stock)...and at about 12 am on the 25th....I had to run to the bathroom 2 x in 10 I realized something unusal (and not right) was umbilical cord slipped from inside and was hanging out. When things get intense I grow calm (sometimes). I told Adam to come to me in the bathroom and to call my mom right away. I just stood there not sure what to 'sense' of what was going on...was this bad, good...I didn't feel I knew what to expect....and so just prayed. I couldn't feel a heart beat in the cord....and so grabbed a towel to (possible catch a baby?) sit on in the car. As we entered the car, I just prayed to God over my babies and hoped to bring them both home. Adam got Colby (our 20 month old) and we called my mom and 911 on the way to the highway. They told us to stay at the intersection and wait....2 fire trucks, a police truck, many, many men...all wanting to verify that what I said was true...finally about 20 mins later the ambulance arrived...took down my info (for the 4th time)....every time someone arrived they took down my name, etc....and check to see the baby's umbilical cord. I could have told the it was true and let's just 'go'. Finally they loaded me up....(I was wondering all this time was there something I should be doing ...a position best to be in, but 911 and the medical teams didn't say or suggest anything when we asked)....just said don't sit on it, daaaa. (I looked it up later and on all 4's is now that I know for that 1% chance of this happening at all). I made jokes with the emt and said if he'd deliver one I'd get the other. I wasn't really every in labor...maybe 2 pains...right before arriving at the hospital (all good in this case to not be in labor). They raced me into the surgery room, of course not knowing what was truly 'wrong' I asked did I need a c-section. As they prepped me, they assured me yes, so I signed the paper work....not knowing still what was happening. I never thought I'd have a c-section. It was scary and all I did was pray and be in shock. The drugged me and hooked up new iv's. (I have had one baby natural with no pain medication, but this was scary to me and I just had to 'rest' in God). The drugs weren't taking....and as they rolled me on my back (this created the crunch time of pressure on the umbilical cord and time to get the babies out) I heard ...lets put her under...I'm thinking I have to do this, but I don't want to be out of it, and who will tell the dr.s when the boys are born what to preferences for no shots, just to be with my mom and husband, since I realized I'd be of no use for a while. Then I guess it all kicked in....and they began the process. I was on the table at 1:11 and the boys were both born at 1:32 a.m. Adam couldn't come in because they thought they were putting me under and in all the rush he didn't have time. But I'm not sure he'd have enjoyed the process...I was alone, but it was a situation that only needed God. They rushed out Kyle...and I heard smal cryes...more like a mouse or something....he'd lost a lot of nutrients in the process and was in shock (my mom knows more on this since I was out of it and just told if he didn't get better soon they'd send him away to UC davis). I got to see Ryan all pink and crying loudly. I was able to ask them to not do certain things to the babies....and that I wanted my family with them at all times. So my mom and Adam stayed with them, my mom oversaw from a window - Kyle or Ryan (still don't know all details- drugs and having to recover before I could see them.) And Adam was with the other.
Finally as I was recovering...they brought in my mom, dad, Colby and Adam.....soon after I was in a bed....and holding Ryan close. I couldn't sleep though = the drugs and not seeing or knowing what was happening with my son, Kyle who I hadn't met yet. The hospital did give me pictures of him in ICU so I could see what he looked like. My mom was a good pushy and got to go to Kyle and hold him 2 times for a few hours...I wanted to meet him, too, but they said they said he couldn't come to me and I couldn't go to sad! My mom got to go into him, when the hospital realized she was Grandma (tita to my kids), yeah for good hospital policies. Later the next morning ( I think) after my dr had ok's a visit, they put me in a wheel chair and we headed to the nursery and ICU. I puked on the way there and back! I was so out of it and Kyle was flailing so much I couldn't really try to nurse him and was having a hard time bonding....I was with him for a while...but felt so bad I couldn't bond with him as I was so out of it (drugs and sick). I was blessed to bond with Ryan right away...but felt torn as a mother to also bond with my son who I had to wait to meet. My mom, thank God for moms! pushed (nicely) to have Kyle brought to finally a nice nurse let him come in oxygen and all to my room so I could hold him much better. Besides the fact my mom had spent some good time with him holding him, and praying over him.....he was a different baby when i met him the 2nd time. Way more calm and less stressed.....and I was able to just bond with him since I wasn't fighting the urge to pass out or puke. A lot of the time is a blurr...I remember I was so glad my husband and mom were there...and we kept the babies with us as much as we could...only to let the hospital do there hourly tests on them and then get them back. My mom was great and would go check on them if they didn't come back in a timely manner. I would have in a normal circumstance stayed with them at all times....even for the test times. Ryan was doing great and Kyle was improving...I knew in my heart he'd be fine. But I also know that God had so many people praying for us and Kyle and Ryan and their birth....I feel in my heart there is more that God did to intervene, especially in Kyle's behalf, than I'll know for now.
So....I enjoyed my boys....Kyle was 6.13 and 19 1/2 in. and Ryan (the younger of the two) weighed in at 6.11 and was 18 3/4 in. They were born 2 days early at a great weights!
We had mainly just family and a few close friends come to visit. We were in Yuba City...and everyone there was so helpful and wonderful. I know God had the ambulance driver take us there instead of GV hospital. We had so much love and prayers and enjoyed our small visits (well....ok my family isn't small, but intimate visits with those closest us). My mom was a trooper along with Adam and I and stayed up so we could keep the babies with us at all times.
Kyle kept getting better and I was ready to go home on the min day they let you out for a c-section. (3 days for this hospital) I was longing for healthy food...I couldn't live on sugar and fake eggs for long. My bestest girl friend, Ms. Powers....came to the rescue with yummy snacks and a bottle of champagne to celebrate. (She'd done the same for our first birth with Colby). Such great memoires of that yummy food and a wonderful, loving friend.
This may seem blurry as I remember from a state of very little sleep (but no more drugs).....our first visitor was my sister, Laura, she raced down from Redding to be there. What a joy, to have her come and see us all. It was sad when she had to return home again that evening. Adam's family and mine came at different times (I think the same night).....and my sister Amber came from Redding, too, along with S. Powers....( just love to call my friend Sarah by her last name). My brother Eddie, came from a job he was doing and joined the rest of my clan. Adam's mom brought us stuff from home...we didn't have time to grab anything! And some yummy snacks, too. (You can see I like to eat...time to eat again for me right now). Oh..on that note...we loved Sarah's mom's! the best!
My mom headed home....the last night we were there (I think ...again it's all fuzzy) and we were excited to get to go home the next morning....They checked us out...and we realized the outfits that were packed in a diaper bag to take them home in were back in GV with we found them some big donated clothes and got their car seats all set up for them.
Going back to the first day...I remember the nurses kept asking my pain level from 0-10....and I would answer 0....and didn't know why they kept asking, until at 6:30 pm on the 25th...I realized I'd been on drugs still...and wham...this was more painful than natural child birth. I must say to those who say it's 'easy' or a simple 'surgery'- no way! It's so difficult to recover much better to go through pain before you get your baby and then once they arrive it's all a past memory (the current recovery on a natural birth is so much easier in my experience). I was all bruised up...and not wanting to take pain meds because I'd be nursing...but had survive. It just got worse and worse. I would advise to never have a c-section unless you have to. ouch! I was bruised inside and out...and hurt sooooo bad. I am amazed at women who would opt for this when they don't need it, they are picking the harder route even if it can be scheduled for some.
So....back to the last day...we got all packed up and headed home with our new boys! Colby came home to us, too....that was hard because with a hospital birth the family is so broken up....he missed us as we missed him. And we began to settle into adjusting to two newborn boys. My mom and Adam's mom were there to help, as well as, my sisters and many close family friends...there wasn't a day I was alone for the first 2 weeks of arriving home, and even some nights our moms were there with us. What a blessing! I've had a lovely girlfriend arranging meals to be brought weekly and others who have come to hold babies and arrived with food so we haven't had to cook much. This is the first time I could break away from my kids and get this blog out. I hope to upload pictures, too.
Well...I'm signing off and going to figure out how to add, fun.
We are now at week 4 of our boys....growing and sleeping (lots...well every 2 hours...eating and then sleeping again). Someday we'll sleep again, but for now our lives are completely changed and we are pushing through to a day we can say....ahhh, they are sleeping through the night. But for now...we are trying to enjoy all the crying and dirty diapers....ahhhh.
Until I have another spare moment.....( with one is easy...but 3 is life changing and I know I'll be a stronger person - thanks God- because of these blessings).