So when you begin this journey of parenthood - I know everyone says how life altering it is! But the everyday changes,and let's just say re-adjustments to these changes is sometimes breaking and re-building. At least at times that's how I feel. Small things are changing your day for a kid who is sick. Another example is happening as I write! It's snowing. So now my trip to the store after Adam is home for a few things may need to be readjusted. I know this is a normal part of life, kids or not. I just notice it when all the small life altering changes pile up (and have a mini break down). It's so good to realize that as I die (let go)to some of the things I want to do or thought I could do, I get to sit back and figure out how I can change or adjust to my life.
Truthfully you think I am joking about a mini break down, but no. It did feel good to voice all the things I didn't expect or imagine were a part of parenthood. I think, like so many parents, you don't realize where you end and where you as a parent begins. I am unsure how to best word it, but you are so connected yet must know who you are. Making the choice to give up parts of yourself, while you help your children to become who they are to be. Knowingly setting aside that ride on the quad so you can make dinner, while enjoying the fact that under all this parenting is a fun person ready to ride and yell with the thrill of life. That glimpse that parts of old (young) are still there, bring hope on these uncharted territories.
Being able to make a call to a experienced mom, to know it's ok to not be able to handle everything dished out or to find relief that not being able to be what you thought you should be and trusting your kids are going to do fine.
My expectations for others and myself are changing. A fine balance between hope and truth.
Finding my steps on this journey.....