Persective

A follow up of sorts on my last post....
I realize, that some of life is our perspective and what we put our HOPE in.
I had a wonderful chat with an amazing woman (and sister), also known as Auntie Amby.
I'm gonna jump ahead to a conversation w/ my mom and then back to Aunti Amby.
My mom said something that impacted me, those things that just are like a 'key' and help you process and let go. She said, "It's ok to grieve....for what you've felt you've lost, but Colby is still the same person, and you can make the choice to enjoy who he has always been." {This is how I heard and processed what she said....and so thankful to make a switch in my emotions and thinking}. I realized I was grieving, feeling overwhelmed, unsure if I was doing anything right in the past or now, what would I do in the future? As I let go of my expectations of what I thought, and I realized that my Colby is my Colby, he hasn't changed. I am going to enjoy every moment and not second guess myself, God made me his Mom for a purpose and a plan and for this time of his life. I am his, and he is mine.
Ok, back to my lovely sister, Auntie Amby (Colby nicknamed her this, and I don't think she wants him to change it) - She is a lover and a loyal sis. As she was baking her pumpkin bread, because she felt she was supposed to. Laura {one of my other sisters, yes, I have 7, and is amazing, she knows how to be weak and strong all in the same moment}was over for the evening, and when Amber found out she needed it for Laura's daughter's (our niece) school day, she understood why she'd been prompted, not that it would ever be bad to bake and eat pumpkin bread!
I had fun listening to Amber, and then we began talking about all the past few days of developmental testing for Colby. Amber loves him so much, she actually loves all his mimicking and echoing. They call it something else, it's actually pretty and sounds like a girl's name. Amber began to speak love and truth - at least that's what I heard - and told me how she and her roomies (who are like my sisters) are looking for creative ways to play w/colby so they too can be a part of connecting and loving him. The support is amazing. She reminded me that we had all helped in Michele's life (one of my other sisters, who became deaf at 10 months old), and that Michele is not a 'deaf' person because of all the love and relationship and teaching we all did together. She also said that I was going to have fun (she's beginning to prophesy and a girl needs that when she's feeling down and unsure).....that I would enjoy and learn from God how to teach, play and work w/ Colby. I felt a peace and assurance as we continued to talk and finally could quit crying....it's been a long day of spontaneous tears from me. {Pause, babies are awake now}
{Ok, they are eating their wheat free waffles, happily} I felt so loved by my sister, Amber and ready to face the day (well, the night and I was actually out on the town, otherwise known as going to the grocery store). As I shopped, and enjoyed my outing, my mom called to see how Adam, Colby and I were all doing with the progress of testing so far. Colby seems so good after the testing, he loves the one on one, but the day after was harder because he wanted only that, and no individual play or group play. Adam, still processing....but so far, I think, we are on the same page. One of the possibilities for occupational and speech therapy are a special education preshcool, where he could possibly go 5 days a week. My goal in all of this is to get my hands on tools, teach myself, whatever I can do to work w/ Colby. Adam and I have both felt that Colby being gone 5 days a week is not what we want. We may settle for letting him go 2 days for some therapy time and that way I can have some special time with Kyle and Ryan, too. We will see.....it's all in the beginning. (I have a feeling his special nutrition needs are important in all of this, and that some of this may be worse right now, than we first thought, but I think they [the testing gals] don't want to label him too soon.)

Now, onto a day of love, joy, and peace in loving my Jesus and enjoying my kids....oh, and some dishes from breakfast! Did I mention that I love my boys! Don't forget to let the Light shine on your perspective, today.

Pumpkin Patch 2009

So, you'll find I may be blogging current to past events...but I don't want to miss 'journaling' all our fun and adventures.

Yes, we made it to the pumpkin patch.
Bierwagens pumpkin patch (yeah, know I know how to upload a link so you can go to it, too). We've been going since Colby was a baby....and now it's so fun to be there when all my kids can walk and enjoy it.

Pumpkins, hay bales, lots of animals, and family!
My favorite....oh, besides the yummy treats.
We got the boys their pumpkins and will carve later this month.

Things that people say...

I know we all ponder and wonder at the things people say. I know, I for one, have not always thought before I spoke.....(still current at times and find my foot in my mouth).

But...these are the things I hear when I go out with my boys, and even with one of my sisters to help.

#1: "Wow, You've got your hands full." - I hear this the most, and just smile and say "Yes, and I'm blessed", or something like this...but after literally saying this 10 times even on the same aisle at the grocer store (that is, when one of my wonderful sisters or parents aren't watching them so I have some alone time at the store). I begin to wonder what I should say....so I'm practicing on whoever is listening.....I'm also wondering what you say or would say to respond?

I've thought I could say: "My heart is full, too." Or...."Yes, and I'm so blessed", or "Actually, I don't have enough hands, do you want to come over and help".

I have to admit I must look like a funny show to some, as I maneuver my kids, in strollers and back packs and carts.....to peruse (a word I for sure picked up from Adam) the aisle in search of my food and other items.

I have found some people shocked at me, others tell me what a wonderful job I'm doing, and even the same person will tell others through the store how amazing I am. That's nice to hear.

I now...can't remember really any others for the moment, I guess this one I hear so much, and wonder how people come up with this stuff.....I don't think I'd ever even think to say that to someone.

Ok, now I remember...."What a beautiful family you have," "I was a twin," "All boys?" - I always respond truthfully to this one, "I'm hoping for a few girls, next". Others say "You must have a lot of fun" - which is so very true!

I know growing up....people were not always kind. They were rude, to my Mom, in front of us....even (especially) Christians, so odd. I don't know what is so bad or sad to 'people' about a large family. I was so blessed and loved growing up. I hope God blesses me with many children. I am so glad my heart agrees with Him, Children are a blessing, a reward (paraphrased)....I can't imagine my life any other way.

For those who may not know me...I grew up in a wonderful family. I am the oldest of 13 kids. We also were blessed to have a few cousins and friends live with us from time to time. I felt so loved, spoiled and surrounded at all times with wonderful relationships (I still am). We always had our 'needs' met and then some. So, yes, I know my 3 boys are blessed to have one another, besides all of their uncles, aunties, cousins, Tita/Grandmas, Pappas, and more....

I may sometime talk more about this.....and let you know how I do in really saying what I think, since so many others seem to have that freedom already.

{And while writing this post, it got very quiet in the living room....we all know what too quiet means! Yes, my twins somehow had the fortune of find the bathroom door open, as well as, the toilet seat up! Their first time...and wish I could say the last to make toilet soup. Colby came and told me and found them just in time before the toy giraffe became soup, too.}

The boys - September update

Update on my babies, they are now toddling into toddler-hood.

Twins (1 year, 2 months -I had to use my fingers to count):
Kyle (the older by seconds)- serious - independant for the most part, when he knows I'm there.

Ryan (the younger of the family)- clingy, socialite, and recent development= doesn't like strangers. I know it doesn't make sense how he could be so social and now all of the sudden such a mommy's boy.

Kyle/Ryan- obsessed with throwing away their diapers in the trash can for me and so proud as they do it (I only give them the damp ones, not the stinky ones, and sometimes they try to grab a clean one to toss, gonna have to watch what goes in the trash now. Once my sister {Laura} threw out my Dad's paycheck).

Kyle and Ryan don't share a crib, but do share a room. They shared a crib till about (trying to remember) 6 monthes or so.....but they only play together in them now.

They are using bowls and spoons, with pride....so cute (and messy).

Eating: kyle loves fruit and not too fond of cheese, Ryan loves most things

self feeding, pretty much every thing, so you can imagine the clean up

When I call the 'babies' this means run and laugh and hide, till I have to get up and find you....

Kyle = silk blankies, all of the sudden they're his favorite and won't get out of bed without, and I have to pry out of his hands at breakfast, but luckily forgets about until nap time.

Cuddles = all 3 at once jumping in/on my lap....so much love.

I recently got them a leash...for the twins, but it's a process to train them to both walk the same way, next to me....a lot of teaching going on, with a back up of security for me, if we are in the street. I think we'll try it when they are a bit older, as they fall a lot and it's hard to make it 10 feet as a group.

Baby wearing = so this is a new term to me as of the twins. I used a sleepwrap for them as new borns, they both fit in this big piece of material. Then I proceeded to use the wrap for the front for one, and the Ergo as a back carrier for the other twin. Now I tried a sling and the Ergo, but find you can't do both....so I'm looking into buying another one called a Mei Tei or something....so that I can tie that on the front with the Ergo on back....I really must take more pictures. I've had so many questions for other moms of twins, one being on how to 'wear' your babies. Wish I could have run into more twin moms sooner, but when you're so busy you don't have time to come up for air. Now, I have time, but don't know many moms of twins around my boys age or just beyond. I love having my 'babies' close to me. I realize they aren't babies much anymore, but they are the youngest of my kids, so they remain babies to me.

The favorite new thing is to all pile in my lap to read stories....usually it's the twins, Kyle and Ryan = my lap w/Cobly to the side of me. They love to read as much a I do!

They also love to all be in one crib, including Colby, at once. So this is my new routine, since I don't usually plan my shower till the end of the day....before Adam gets home. I put them all in the Twins room....and then either all in one crib (I'm afraid of it breaking w/3) or 2 in one and 1 in the other crib. Sometimes when we are in their room, they just beg to go in their cribs together.....funny, and a good way to vacuum when they are in there.

Colby will belt out in singing, jumping, running in any order at any time. He likes to serenade us all day, it's either reading or singing. And now I think with enough coaxing, he's beginning to beg to play outside more....yeah for activity. He always is asking us "you" want this...that...which means "I" want.....the cookie, etc....I've been working with him, and he's beginning to understand. It's always weird when he says "he" wants it....etc....but someday we'll get it.

Um, don't get me started on strollers for 3 kids, I've been searching, found the one I like, but will have to wait till I find a second job (and being that I have 3 kids, that won't be anytime soon).

Well, my jumbled thoughts should end soon....as I need to pick up so we can begin fresh fun tomorrow. I get my hair cut/styled for the first time in months.....and I always love the time and miss my kids more, too.

Good Night!